Be safe with sex experimentation, don’t recklessly imitate what you see in movies

It is no secret Valentine’s Day is two weekends away.

It is also no secret that in two weekends, millions of couples will be heading to the theaters to see the film adaptation of the bestselling novel, “Fifty Shades

of Grey.”

To be perfectly honest, my valentine [should I find one in the next eight days] and I will not be seeing this movie. To be perfectly honest, I wish this movie and the book it comes from did not exist.

I have gone on rants lasting for days about how this book is just an overrated “Twilight” fan fiction. I could tell you all the ways this glorifies abusive relationships and how it is the worst possible portrayal of the BDSM community any person who calls themselves an author

could create.

But that is not what this column is about.

However, I do want to talk a little about BDSM.

BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Discipline [or Dominance], Sadism [or Submission] and Masochism.

Wikipedia calls it “a variety of [erotic] practices involving dominance and submission, roleplaying, restraint and other interpersonal dynamics.”

There are communities and subcultures dedicated to this, since interests can range from one-time experimentation or a lifestyle choice.

The community and the subculture rely on both self-identifying and shared experience, which makes communication crucial between the parties involved in the BDSM and the community/subculture as a whole.

The wide range of practices and practitioners give couples the option of whether or not to put themselves in the

BDSM community.

So, given the wide pool of people who could want to try a little blindfolding or tying up, it makes perfect sense for people who have never tried it or have thought about trying it might want to finally do so after watching “Fifty Shades.”

While I do understand that what happens between two people behind a closed bedroom door is not someone else’s business, I encourage you to be safe when imitating anything you see in “Fifty Shades.”

While hundreds of people are fighting for different causes pertaining to “Fifty Shades,” the one topic I think that needs be talked about more is the safety aspects of it.

Plenty of bloggers on Tumblr have discussed the impending doom which will come in the form of the number of hospitalizations that might happen from incorrectly tied knots after this movie is released.

While this is definitely a problem I can see happening, I want to do the best I can to make sure it doesn’t.

It is totally OK if you see something in “Fifty Shades” you might want to try. But before you actually try it, I encourage you to do a

little research.

I encourage you to look up an easy-to-tie/untie knot instead of tying a knot incorrectly. I encourage you to look up the importance of safe words and communication within BDSM-type parameters.

If anything, I hope you take away from this movie that BDSM can be fun to experiment with and fun to do if done both correctly and safely.

This column was originally published on Feb. 6, 2015 by independent student newspaper, The BG News, which can be read here.

Advertisements